Thoughts on the Heart

Before my heart disease came to light I felt the Lord had said to me, "You will need to seriously consider things about your future."  Over the last week I have been in fact seriously considering my future and some of my past.


The Lord lives in my heart yet at least a part of it was not totally living.  In the midst of several heart attacks I discovered I was carrying some baggage from a daughter's cancer battle.  I found myself sobbing out the pain of a traumatic event that took place seven years ago.  I couldn't help wondering if there was a connection between my emotional baggage and physical disease.  Then in the middle of this closeness with the Lord a nurse walked in and we shared our common love for the Lord and prayed together. 

Following the subsequent angiogram, angioplasty and insertion of stent I can literally feel my heart again pounding out a stronger base line.  Looking back I can track its progressive weakening as I gave up carrying a pack, climbing steep hills and enjoying the wilder outdoors because we couldn't anymore.  What amazes me is that with all those signs of weakening nothing was diagnosed of coronary heart disease in check-ups.  Rather I just slipped into accepting that older age was taking over but in fact I had become diseased and a prisoner of risk.
 
In all of this I am reminded of Exodus 3:5 which talks about closeness to the presence of the Lord in these terms, "Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground."  It makes me wonder if the unresolved pain of my daughter's near death experience was as Moses' sandals which had to go in order to get into the future I was praying towards.  I didn't realise that something unholy was lurking this near the passionate burning bush of my love of God.  Sandals, as Paul suggests, are the preparation of the gospel of peace (Eph 6:15).

I am assured by the Spirit that peace is the most important thing.  Footwear on the other hand does not seem that important or even relevant to the presence of God.  However on what you stand is the basis of our world view and this is what we must get completely off.  We do not need to put on protection, risk management by another term.  We are asked to divest ourselves of protective barriers which hold us away from our heavenly awesome peace with God.  We carry our burdens at our risk.  Moses' burden was where he had walked, the killing of an Egyptian and his consequent fleeing.

The Lord Jesus removes sandals and washes feet.  Where the future leads is in His hands.  I will walk with Him not a follower with barriers but as His companion and friend for He says, "I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me."  Here I stand a new man foot loose and baggage free.  The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Thanks be to God.

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